The Value of Admitting You’re Wrong

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“About 6 months ago, Mike was in a very dark place, and was clearly very angry with the world.”

This is hardly how you’d expect to be introduced to a room full of people, just before you present to them on a topic you’re supposedly an expert in.

But this is exactly what happened just 6 weeks ago.

What’s more, the guy who said it was someone who, for a time, I thought had a serious beef with me. And whose name brought a sense of dread and foreboding every time I saw it in my Facebook notifications.

This blog is the story of how I ended up achieving a lifelong goal of speaking at an event in the States, despite being a prize dick along the way. (And the value of sometimes holding your hands up and saying –

“I’m wrong.”

The Reason I Wanted to Write

It makes sense to start this off with a little flashback to 2009.

I’d just started as a personal trainer in London, UK, and was doing okay.

I say ‘okay’ – I had a few clients, I was just about managing to keep my head above water, and I was doing a job I’d dreamed of doing ever since realising that I absolutely hated law at college.

I was happy-ish, but I wanted a lot more.

I started reading T-Nation, and discovered a whole new world of awesomeness in the content on there. More specifically from two people – Nate Green and John Romaniello.

These two guys stood out above all others for me.

Not only were they not that much older than me, but they had huge followings, seemed to be living incredible lives, and, most importantly – wrote with passion and emotion in a way I could truly resonate with.

They were the two people I looked up to more than any others, and the reason why writing went from something I detested, to an enjoyable means of making money and building my business, to something that is now my whole career, and which makes me genuinely excited to get out of bed every morning.

i.e. they were HUGE for me.

From Hobby to (Kind of) Career

Throughout 2011-2013, my main job was personal training.

I used writing to generate business by way of blogging, keeping a Facebook page and emailing my list, but it was little more than that.

I did some freelance writing for Livestrong.com on the side, and got great joy from seeing my name pop up on such a prestigious site, but I never really imagine I’d be able to turn writing into a real job.

It was at the back end of 2014 though, that I met Dan Meredith.

Dan was the inspiration and guiding hand that gave me a peak behind the curtain into the wonderful world of copywriting. It was through his coaching, advice, connections and mentorship that meant come mid-2015, I no longer considered myself a fitness professional, but a fitness professional slash copywriter.

You can read about mine and Dan’s journey here.

Jack of All Trades … Master of Sweet FA

For a time, I rode the line between fitness and copy pretty well.

Business was good in both. I had around 30-50 online coaching clients, and enough copy work coming in to plug the gaps in my weekly schedule.

But spreading yourself too wide is a dangerous game to play.

During the early part of 2016, several things happened –

 

• I lost fitness clients.

It wasn’t anything I felt I was doing wrong particularly, but the market got a lot more competitive. I didn’t have enough time to spend on really pushing my business forward. I’d neglected my blogging and emailing, and as such, was losing interaction.

 

• I lost copy clients.

A couple of longer-term, higher-paid retainer clients decided they were going to take their work in-house.

I’d never really had to pitch for copy work before, and as such, despite the fact I wrote sales material for others without even thinking about it, I was nervous about putting myself out there.

 

• I was stressed over money.

I knew I had a big tax bill coming up, and I was genuinely scared about the state of my business. I actually remember having heart palpitations, and lying awake some nights. I feel okay admitting this now, but for a dude who’s generally extremely chilled and so laid-back he’s nearly horizontal, this was scary for me.

 

• I was angry and resentful about the past.

I’d made some decisions that I felt were right at the time, but looking back, I’d have given anything to change at that point. They’re decisions that now, I can say unequivocally were correct, and have paid off 100 times over, but when you’re in a place of scarcity, you second-guess everything, and rue all the choices you made that you feel are holding you back now.

 

Want to know something pathetic?

Every day for a good 6 months, I would check my Facebook memories, looking back at how well I’d been doing a year earlier.

Clearly, this isn’t healthy. And, if I look back again now, I realise that in hindsight, I was MUCH happier personally in 2016 than 2015, but again, when you’re under the cosh in business, you look at everything that happened in the past with rose-tinted spectacles.

Bitter Facebook Mike

When we’re stressed, we all do stupid shit.

Some people get drunk …

Others last out physically …

I decided to be a sarcastic, nasty little bitch on social media.

Everything I posted was a call-out, a snidey comment, or a criticism of someone else.

I was a passionate hater, and, because this got me plenty of ‘likes’ from my peers, I figured it must be a good thing. But one of these peers wasn’t quite so complimentary.

This was in response to my blog – “Top 10 Fitness Industry Charlatans.”

That blog was penned as a way of driving traffic to the website, and it got something like 25,000 views and 1,100 likes.

An okay result. But honestly?

I look back now and think –

“Fuck Mike, what were you thinking?

You used the tactic that is the very antithesis of what you tell everyone else – Focus on your own shit.

Sure, you got some back slaps and ball tickles from others in the industry, but what did it actually do for YOUR audience?

Nothing.”

I can see that all this anger I was putting out, was coming from a place of scarcity and resentment.

I was pissed that I wasn’t doing as well as I wanted to.

I was annoyed at the fact I was spinning my wheels.

I was lost for new ideas.

And I was scared at the state of my business.

 

I Had Two Choices

After the charlatans post, and John’s comment, as well as a few similar responses from others who I respected in the industry (Bryan Krahn and Jon Goodman to name a couple more) I carried on doing exactly the same as I had been, but with a nagging voice in my head, every time I posted –

“Is this going to attract more criticism? Are you sure you should be doing this?”

I listened to that voice … then I did what I was planning to anyway.

That included a blog entitled “Fuck You, Dr. Mercola,” pithy rants about low-carb diets, and anything I deemed would get a momentary smirk from any other members of the evidence-baed fitness crowd who just happened to be browsing Facebook around the time of my outbursts.

As the criticism grew, I had two choices –

Fight back, or listen.

At first, I chose the former.

I remember thinking –

“Fuck these guys. Especially Roman.

Who is he to criticise? I bought his book, I invested in ‘How to Get Published‘ and I even emailed him before to thank him for inspiring me.”

I stewed for a few days, then realised something else –

This guy cares enough to call me out. He doesn’t need to respond to me. He’s not doing it to please his own following, or because he has nothing better to do.

He’s successful, writes impeccably, and knows what he’s doing.

Maybe I should listen.

I sent off a message:

 

Not really expecting anything to come back, I was surprised when a couple of days later, this came through –

 

It was this message that changed how I looked at social media, and created one of the biggest positive shifts in business I’ve ever had.

From then on, everything I put out, be it Facebook post, email, or blog, had to have one of the following motives –

• to educate
• to inform
• to inspire
• to get business
• to make people laugh
• to make someone else feel good about themselves
• to tell the world what I LOVED or what I was passionate about

 

Doing this did several things:

Firstly, it meant I was happier.

By forgetting about all the minor gripes I had, and preventing their airing on social media, it meant I no longer got into debates that dragged me down, alienated people, or made me seem like a miserable SOB.

Secondly, it sent my business to a better place than it had ever been.

Instead of being known as ‘Mike – the guy who whinges on social media, who’s occasionally slightly amusing, but gets his kicks from calling people out’ I became Mike – the copywriter who posts plenty of content and who’s perfectly okay taking the piss out of himself.

Or at least, that’s what I’m guessing.

Whatever – admitting I was wrong was, without doubt, one of the best things I ever did for business. And my happiness overall.

 

Career-Long Dream … Accomplished

Ever since starting in the fitness industry (and then the copywriting niche) perhaps my biggest goal had been to speak at an event in the States.

In October, my girlfriend Carly surprised me with an amazing trip to NYC to go to AJ Mihrzad‘s Online Supercoach event, where John happened to be one of the speakers. 

We got chatting, and it was then that John invited me to come and speak to his Roman Fitness System Mastermind group at their upcoming get-together in San Diego, in March 2017.

So this is why, on March 27th, 2017, I found myself in front of a room full of eager fitness professionals, all hungry to learn more about how they could write better sales copy, 5,642 miles from home.

Mission accomplished.

 

Lessons, Takeaways and All That Stuff

1,742 words in, and so far, we’ve had little more than a story. All I’ve done is told you how I went from being a bit of a dick, to being asked to speak at an event run by one of my earliest career idols.

I guess that leaves us asking –

“What’s the point of this article?”

Well, here it is.

Plenty of people are exactly how I was.

They rant on social media. They post passionately, but their posts are hate-filled. They concentrate solely on first-world problems, they call others out, and they’re designed for the sole purpose of getting some kind of fleeting, inconsequential acknowledgement from people just like them.

They rely on the mini dopamine hits, and the metaphorical high-fives from mocking someone else.

And doing this, you can get by okay.

But it’s also a surefire way to guarantee you –

• don’t truly help your audience
• never position yourself as someone worth knowing, liking or listening to
• constantly get into time-consuming arguments and debates
• worry about what people think of you

And, ultimately, I promise you – it doesn’t make you happy.

All the likes in the world on a call-out post don’t provide nearly the satisfaction of crafting a beautifully-worded post about how incredible your girlfriend is.

The feeling of joy you get when you can share the incredible results one of your clients achieved far outweighs the adulation on a snarky, demeaning comment against someone who, god forbid, dares to have differing views to you.

And, actually, knowing that what you write on social media actually HELPS people is really fucking cool.

To quote John –

“I’d much rather see you talking about shit you love, than shit you hate.”

Trust me here. Not only will this make YOU happier, but business will be better, more opportunities will come your way, and you’ll actually make a difference in the world.

So, when someone you respect and admire calls you out, it might just be worth listening to them.

Tags: admitting you're wrong, john romaniello, roman fitness system, social media rants